self-portrait, christmas morning, 2009. doing no-handed donuts in the cemetery parking lot.

i was pretty disappointed with the lakers loss last night. as a fan, you can prepare for the game all you want, yell at the top of your lungs, but it really doesn’t matter. kind of like this, i can write whatever i want, but you’re still gonna eat mcdonalds, drink starbucks, wear lululemon, binge, fast, whatever.

i would like to let go of all my attachments. that way, whatever you do doesn’t bother me. it sounds cold, but isn’t that the goal in life, to have no attachments and be free of all worry?

when i was 18 or 19, i bought a book of poetry by an 8th century zen buddhist. it’s the only book of poetry i’ve ever owned. for some reason, han shan’s poems have always spoken volumes to me. last night my mom gave me a new copy, to replace my moldy original. han shan called his home cold mountain and now his poems seem to speak for me.

“i think of all the places i’ve been,
chasing about from one famous spot to another.
delighting in mountains, i scaled the mile high peaks;
loving the water, i sailed a thousand rivers.
i held farewell parties with my friends in lute valley,
i brought my zither and played on parrot shoals.
who would guess i would end up under a pine tree,
clasping my knees in the whispering cold?”

my “iconic santa cruz” photograph. ansel adams i ain’t, but i kinda like this one. i highly encourage you to click and see the uncropped, full-size version to get the full “story of the photograph” as they say. snarf!

okay, class this morning was awesome! i can honestly say, bikram yoga was so good today, i can’t wait to do it again. good energy around the entire room, our new teacher was really rocking the dialogue! i hate to be jealous but he was on funemployment at teacher training. me? i still haven’t even gotten benefits. and to boot, since b.o. just cleared a 3rd extention, he’s gonna get another xx months of funemployment. me? i gotta take a crap job 5 miles outta town because i’ve got a dollar, change, and an overdrawn bank account. don’t be mistaken, heartbreakers, mine is not a glamourous life, but god’s already doing a lot to get me through right now. i’m not complaining, i know i’m blessed. see you tomorrow ~m

hey hey heartbreakers, i took this after bikram today. this stretch of street is pretty rough, which is why my bag is sliding off my back. click and see the larger, uncropped version which i like much more.

i hit snooze twice this morning—thank god i can bike to bikram! crowded 8 am class, i was gonna squeeze into the middle row when my friend made room for me next to her in the front. be still my, um, heart and remember, she wants a friend, nothing more. it was still a nice way to spend a sunday morning. except for my stomach growling in class! i had an apple on the way, but nothing more and my the floor series, my stomach was delivering dialogue of its own. lucky for me, the market next door had a good morning grazing—brownie bits and cinammon cake, yum!

~night at the movies~

why was i rushed this morning? i got caught up watching a great documentary—9/11 the falling man. it was about the photographs of people jumping from the twin towers. pretty heavy stuff, they talked to family members, the photographer, newspaper people who printed it. they even went into a little of the history behind photojournalism. it was something you prolly won’t see but is highly recommended.

also high on my recommend list is black dynamite. this movie is so deep with jokes, you can watch it 3 or 4 times and still catch something new. black dynamite is a new movie filmed to look like a “lost” film from the early 1970s. the colour looks incredible and takes you back to the drive-in, the script is well-crafted and clever, the acting and edting were all “perfect”—honestly, ii was the funniest movie i’ve seen all year.

if you like scary movies, i thought paranormal activity was a lot of fun! it wasn’t as scary as i was hoping, but your results may vary. i was really looking forward to this movie and it din’t disappoint. okay heartbreakers, see you tomorrow ~m

don’t let the doghouse bass and acoustic guitar fool you, this was not your typical farmers market band. humanbaby had a real velvets tone to the few songs i was able to hear.

i really wasn’t thinking when i tweeted earlier that class wasn’t crowded. now that i really think about it, you could barely walk anywhere—i had to indiana jones hop across the room to talk to someone. i worked today, as part of my work trade, getting people signed into the computer, giving out mats & towels, running credit cards. looking back, it was pretty busy! class was fantastic, i haven’t had a trish class in so long. she used to be a regular teacher when i first started practising. her words and energy really helped shape my practise, it was rad to have her leading class again.

well, the packers won today, but what am i most thankful for? trixie. um, but not just trixie, her older “brothers” mr. purr & motor. i’m also thankful for my family—my mom & sister and dad. i’m also grateful for my second family—the bikram community. both online and in santa cruz, you’ve taken me in like a wayward son and i love you so much for it. mostly i’m thankful to be alive and able to enjoy so much of life. that’s it. see you tomorrow ~m

i felt like a kid in the candy store today. click and see the larger, uncropped version of this photo if you don’t believe me. it felt great to be working for my yoga, signing people in, handing them mats and towels. even after practise, disinfecting mats din’t feel like a gross chore. honestly, i feel blessed.

that was the attitude i had in class today, it din’t feel that hot, but we had two people on the floor before we even got to garurasana. during the floor series, one guy left the room for a bit. i don’t know what to tell you friends, i felt great in class. maybe because i was grateful to be there or maybe it’s the diet, the breath and all the rest, either way, i enjoyed every sweaty minute. see you tomorrow ~m

biking to bikram. i love the distortion in this iphone photograph! it’s a rocky uphill road at this point in my ride. i’m riding with no hands *and* taking a picture. my mom hates it, but how else could i get that distortion? still waking up at 7:30 in the morning.

biking from bikram. more fun from my iphone. going up another hill, on the bike bath, friday afternoon. you should definitely click through to see the larger, uncropped versions!

strong class today. started out like a sauna, i was dripping a ton of sweat by the second set of pranayama! i was right next to the wall on the “cool” side, talk about taking the easy way out in a crowded class. as soon as our teacher opened the sliding glass door, i got hit with an arctic blast that chilled me to the bone. not only that, but i had a rad dinner last night with plenty of beans, tomato, chard and romaine. that’s two big things i got on my side.

this week, i really concentrated on keeping my shoulders and elbows equal on both sides. heartbreakers, you know my right side needs the most work. even in pranayama, i noticed that i wasn’t putting enough into my right side. my chest can be projecting just a little more. my shoulder needs to stay out straight, instead of hunching in a little. these are all minute corrections, but they add up to a new stretching for me. i’ve definitely heard a crack in my shoulder more than once when i’m doing it right. same thing when my right arm points up in trikanasana. if i’m doing it correct, with my body aligned straight, my shoulder makes the loudest “pop” as i windmill up, reaching for the ceiling. heartbreakers, the smallest movements can make the biggest difference in the benefits you receive from the posture. see you tomorrow ~m

well friends, i’ve gotten hooked on taking pictures with my iphone! this is from today’s photo safari down on the cliffs. the waves were totally rocking! after bikram, ess and i ventured out to the cliffs and enjoyed lunch as the waves splashed high in front of us. you should definitely click and enjoy the larger, uncropped versions of these pictures. i can’t believe my iphone took these!

i was so distracted during class today. i put my mat in the back row and could not believe the mat i saw in the front row. it was my friend hs’s mat that was stolen from the lost and found a month or two back! i practised next to or behind that mat for so long, i recognized all it’s lumpy curves. i was almost livid during class. i so wanted to say something, but i didn’t want to start a confrontation. “give me that mat!”

oh you guys, i’m embarrassed to say i’m a tattle-tale. i talked to my teacher and she was like if you don’t say something, i’ll ask her about it. you wanna know what she said? she said she got it from the lost and found but had left her mat like that earlier. those were her almost exact words. the way she said it, could have been truthful and she never actually claimed ownership. like, oh i bought this mat years ago, or, i bought this mat here. nothing like that. she knew not to lie because her karma is already bad enough—she’s practising on a stolen mat! other than that minor (ha) distraction, class totally rocked! see you tomorrow ~m p.s. sorry, hallie, i shoulda just taken it anyway.