Week 2

First of all, I’m on a 13 minute time limit so this will be a quick update before I get vamoos’d off the computer.

Sorry, totally verbose update – but I know you guys love it – hah!

Ahem.

First off all, Thursday will hereby be known as Carnage Night as 100++ trainees were all sitting in the parking lot suffering from dehydration, exhaustion, overheating and what-have-you-not, including yours truly.

It was FREAKING HOT, 145F!!!! 98% humidity!!! People were throwing up, crying, and by cobra, my whole face went numb with my entire left leg cramping up. Not fun. Decided to fuck-all and not push myself too much [7 more weeks afterall!!!], raised my hand and limped out helped by Fiona. A staff member came to collect me at the door and promptly gave me gatorade and 2 cups of pedialite [mmmm pedialite] to rehydrate my sad sorry ass. Er, face. Face. When asked “What’s wrong with you?”, I COULD NOT TALK [because my face was numb afterall!] and just mumbled : “Ah fung fuh fuh fes”. I could’ve been talking Greek for all they cared, but I got treated like the depleted diva that I am. Since I was blocking the passageway, I had to be MOVED outside to get some fresh air, and lo behold, LOTS OF casualties! I remember thinking when my face went numb, “Oh God, is this how a freaking face lift of Botox feels like?!” [yeah, I've got a really weird sense of humour- kiss me!]. Poor John, who was supporting me from door to parking lot, decided halfway to carry a very soggy me because uh, I think I was clawing into his shoulder for support. Thank you John!

OK weird thing , how’d he know my name? Cause halfway when tofu me was limping, he said “OK Mei, why not I carry you?”. Realised that some staffers / visiting teachers probably read my blog so, HELLO Bikram Yoga Fall 09 Staffers and visiting teachers! *waves like a mad woman

Bikram was nice and gave us Thursday [Carnage] night off, only after watching a few news segments about Bikram Yoga. Friday night was BOOGIE DISCO NIGHT! Right after class, Bikram put on his doof doof dance CD and during savasana, a few crazy yogis [like yours truly] got up and danced danced danced at the back of the room! Let me tell you, the ENERGY WAS SURREAL and it made me want to laugh dance cry and should all at the same time. It was a much better high than taking 3 hits of E *clears throat uncomfortably. And uh, I think fellow trainees think I’m a little dynamo of sorts :

TC : Yeah, there was this girl who jumped right up after savasana and started dancing! Then she grabbed the guy on the mat next to her, and ther were both jumping and dancing up and down!!!

Mei : Oh, really? That sounds like me!

TC : Are you sure? Cause she looked really tall!

Mei : Oh , yeah. That DEFINITELY was me! Jumping and going wooo! Heh.

Random updates!

- Some Australian guy requested people not to fart in class. Ya, really. Ya, seriously. Next time I see him, I’ll drink 4 cups of whey protein shake, position my mat directly above him and give him a few good stinky farts. Saddam Hussein’s mustard gas will have NOTHING against a few stinky whey protein Mei farts.

- Forcing myself to eat even though on some days [especially during carnage night] I had ABSOLUTELY no appetite. Some trainees are calorie counting, but fucking hell, I calorie count to make sure that I consume 2000calories MINIMUM.

- Freaked the cleaning ladies up when I conversed with them in Spanish. So, be nice to them, cause you get extra towels and toiletries. Heh heh heh.

- Can’t wait for Nicholas T to come visit – I need other non yoga friends to talk about random stuff other than the colour of my poop [green], constipation, pee and hydration.

- Even after filtration, the water still kinda tastes crap. Ugh.

And with that, my 13 minutes of internet fame is up.

M*