Week 8 : Oh the ache!

It’s here, it’s finally here. It’s week 9! I’m going to miss everyone terribly

I know I’ve been very skimp on blogging, but do forgive me, as I have to rush off to either catch up on sleep, eat or scoot off as I’m using the internet courtesy of the fabulous Craig and Richard

PROMISE, AFTER training I’ll post piccies up, along with a mini survival guide for future Las Vegas Bikram Yoga Teacher Trainees, ie how to ‘cook’ in your room and healthy happy nutritious food to eat in your room [when you're sick to death of food from Paradise...] … but stay tuned!

Aaaaaand here are today’s updates! :

Monday : Longest class ever with a person popularly known as “2-hour Ted”. In short, a 2 hour class. Heard dialogue, AND THEN SOME. Also marked the first time in my life that I heard the word KEGELS used in a Bikram Yoga class. And yes, I DO my kegels, but most certainly not during class.

Wednesday : Last posture clinic EVER. Did final spinal with the lovely Juicy Sanchez of Mission Yoga and John A. Salvatore, popular Broadway actor AND bikram Yoga teacher!

Thursday :  Morning class, AND WE HAD THE DAY OFF! Treated to a traditional American thanksgiving dinner by Bikram, wee! Ate soooo much, loved the stuffing though the next day I wished I brought a doggie bag with me to the buffet. Heh heh heh.

Oh, wait, hang on.

I have to run off for group dinner before I get unfed.

I promise, be right back, but if I’m not, more updates in a week!

M*

Week 7 : Light at the End of the Tunnel. Or Is It Vegas Lights?

As my mentor Jakob told me, Week 7 is where you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately for me, I DO see the light but I think I’m going to miss the rest of training terribly. Will it be hard for me to integrate with civilians and not talk about poop / pee / period / bodily fluids? Hah!

Enough sappy stuff. It seems that I have mellowed down completely, as I feel… at peace with myself. It’s a funny feeling to describe, but when you feel it, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

So… here are this week’s gossip updates. UPDATES. Not gossip. Ahem.

This week we had the amazing Jon Burras lecturing about fascia, manifesting positive thoughts and other things. While some of the lectures got testy [with a few trainees passionately disagreeing], I do however, agree with some of the things he said. It takes great balls and guts to go up to a group of 300++ people and tell them YOUR thoughts [however controversial it may be] and yet still hold on to your convictions. Kudos to Jon. On that note, however, I would like to say that most of the topics that Jon covered, I grew up with, so it was not really anything new to me. However, I did get a double cultural shock to find out that this was groundbreaking stuff to some trainees. Would love to expand and learn more from other people though!

On the food note, I am deathly afraid of the food in the Hilton, so I’ve been holed up in my room eating cold sandwiches and what not. It is safe to say that I DO know how to cook and eat a really filling meal for rather cheap-ish in the room Of course, I shall dedicate a blog post about this in the future [eventually, when I get the time..].

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand guess what guess what?! I AM CPR-CERTIFIED! So yes, I is ken saves lives!  Anybody wants to pass out and do choking / unconscious choking?!I can do Heimlich, CPR… I CAN SAVE LIVES! Haha!

A few lessons I’ve learnt this week :

- Soak self in Epsom salts, but remember, not too hot, or you’ll end up having night sweats.

- Always identify the farters and stay the hell away from them.

- Be nice to everyone, cause it’s just nice and don’t expect anything in return.

- Papercuts are dangerous, especially if you’re practicing and get sweat / germy-wermys in it.

- Some men just refuse to grow up and want to me mothered and coddled… but I didn’t pay US10,500 to come here and be your mother. Grr!

Aha, and that is all! Apologies for the short blog, but I feel guilty abandoning Ardha-Matsyendrasana to the corner.

M*

Week 6 : Sex, er, Six.

Before I start off today’s entry, a quick HELLO to Grace from New York! Yes, YOU! [Tomoko said to say HI to you btw ]

Week Six is also more popularly known as Week Sex, as all the hormonal rage comes crashing in. It’s also when catfights occur over the limited number of straight guys available in training [think 1 male available to every single horny female], drama occurs and what-have-you-nots-which-i-shall-not-mention.

For some reason, although Week 5 was weepy and emotional for me, Week 6 ended up with me having an intolerance for noise, especially high-pitched noise. Where I used to be able to study with distractions, noise and maybe throw in a male stripper in a gstring gyrating in front of me, I would still be able to study dialogue and shoot it out efficiently without getting hung up on the noise. BUT NOW, oh my, door slams and I get pissed. Someone blows thie nose and I want to chop it off with a machete. What the heck is wrong with me?! Last week was supposed to be angry week, but instead I’m doing it in reverse. Aaah!

On a separate note, I can’t believe how… self-absorbed some people are! “Oh yes we should all buy organic / be vegan / hug a tree, but we do yoga, so I won’t judge you for it”. *pause. Uh, I don’t exactly earn US$ so eating Campbell’s soup and a wad of udon noodles in it is nourishment to me, organic or not. Huff!

So let’s start off the usual blogging with a little day by day update, as I know you all are dying for a slice of news. Not dying, dying, but, you know what I mean! Ahem.

Monday :

After a rather dismal delivery [to me, at least] of Tree Pose and Toe Stand, I think I got my groove back with Pavanamuktasana! So. Damn. Happy! It’s one of those postures that I want to hear people fart in, as odd as it may sound.

Tuesday :

Ahhh drama! The room was HOT HOT HOT, but not as HOT as some carnage days where people had to be carried out. A trainee had to be carried out of the room and as the class ended, blinking red lights pulled into the parking lot of Las Vegas Hilton. Bikram ended the class rather concerned, and we didn’t get to hear any of his hit songs. Turns out that the trainee had some issues and an ambulance was called in, just in case. Don’t know why fire services arrived on the scene [no Foo, she didn't spontaneously combust though I want my dialogue to just go BOOF and erupt into splendid multicoloured flames]. And yes, the trainee is fine and bouncing back to classes and posture clinic Be careful people! Always hydrate, sleep and rest well!

Oh yes, our nightly lecture with Bikram ended at 1am-ish.

Wednesday :

Fuck. Me. Like. A. Donkey. Bikram’s lecture and movies ended at 5am. 5.03 am THURSDAY morning to be precise. This meant scurrying back up to the room to sleep for 3 hours before lugging ourselves out to the roof of the Hilton to take our big-ass group photo. Needless to say, 300 people being sleep deprived and getting our asses arranged on a roof = not many happy campers. But we love the yearbook committee – kiss kiss hug hug!

While delivering salabhasana [I was on a ROLL mind you!] – visiting teacher Michael from Oregon got up, went to the toilet, came back out and TRIPPED AND FELL right in front of me while I was delivering dialogue! At first I didn’t know whether to help him up, but he began staggering towards me and grabbing my ankles. Aha, I thought, it’s a trick! I ignored him and carried on. Turns out that they do distractions to test your power of concentration and see if you are easily distracted. Hmm… how interesting!

Thursday :

Absolutely fun-fucking-tastic morning class with Rajashree. So totally needed her positive energy and motherly love after a 3hour nap on the bed and a 3-4hour nap on the uncomfortable chairs in the lecture hall.

Oh my, I am so happy as Joseph Encinia and Courtney Mace, 2009 World Champions came to camp! WEE!!!! Oh my oh MY OH MY!!! I AM SO EXCITED! Excuse me as I waltz around like a giddy schoolgirl D:

Did I mention Esak Garcia was also here? *squeal!!

Friday :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARC , permanent staff for Bikram Yoga Teacher Training Fall 2009 !!!

Not to mention anything gross, but I am naturally gross and out-there, so here goes : I got my period. Fina-fucking-ly. So sorry guys, I’m not pregnant. I repeat, NOT PREGNANT.

What’s weird is having 20 or 50 other females get their period around the same time, so much for synchronised periods! Kinda cool but gross at the same time. Today was also the day where there was a lack of towels. Went up to a guy who had TWO, and asked for one as I did NOT have a towel to line my mat. I guess some people are just naturally assholes, yoga teacher training or not, as he said , “NO”. Well, fuck you very much, motherfucker! Managed to get a towel from Mandeep, such a sweetheart!

Saturday :

LOVELY EARLY MORNING CLASS WITH RAJASHREE. I will miss her so much! I will be so glad to see her at graduation and get a picture with her. And maybe Bikram too! Wee!

Righty ho, excuse me while I run off and study dialogue. At this point of time, I am so ready to make my dialogue spontaneously combust into a great big ball of flame and watch it turn to ash, and hopefully rise again from the ashes like a phoenix. Either I have an overactive imagination or my yogic powers aren’t working that well, but my dialogue is still winking at me from the corner of my eye.

*growl.

M*

p.s : HAI GRACE! I’d love a comment in the comment box

Week 4 & Week 5 – Hell-o and Emo!

Why hello, sorry I have not being able to update as I was tired and trying to study for anatomy and cram in 5 postures in my grey matter [or dura mater for all you biology fetish freaks out there].

So here are some brief updates from Week 4 :

Monday : This day heralded the return of Boss himself. This meant no easy classes, though the room was not as hot as Carnage Thursday. Good to have my butt kicked in class! Oh yes,first anatomy test. Was quite tempted to write that I was an ESL student [which is technically true...] and get extra credit for the test. But I didn’t. See, I ist honest persons.

Tuesday : Bikram was in such a ridiculously good mood, so he gave us the evening off from posture clinic and threw us a pizza party! YAY! Can you imagine 500 odd LARGE Papa John’s pizzas in a big lecture tent? We were all made to have AT LEAST 5 slices each, or suffer the wrath of a Saturday make-up class [Dom was just kidding, I think!]. Since there was so much leftovers, Mel and I took a pizza back to our room. I am so sick of pizza now. Seriously. So. Sick. Of. Pizza. Ugh.

Wed : Posture clinic and more lectures! At this point of time I had pizza coming out of my ears. Ugh.

Thurs, Fri : More posture clinics and lectures. More drama, haha!

Saturday : Went out with 24 other trainees to watch “O” by Cirque du Soleil. It. Was. Freaking. Fabulous!! Inspired me to work harder on my practice, just a little, hah. Thanks and huge props to Ryan and sophie for organising it. Can you imagine 25 yogis fitting into a hummer limo, with cheesy club music blasting through? Plus the limo had a dance pole in it… all for the price of US$6 per person. Sure beats riding the monorail to Bellagio!

Sunday : Woke up with a frozen shoulder. Motherfucker it hurt so much that I could not wear my bra. Headed out and spent money on Epsom Salts and emergen-c. If there’s one thing [or 20] I wish I brought, it’d be Epsom Salts and a heating pad.

Week 5 (also known as Emo / Stress week)

Monday : Shoulder still hurt like a bitch. By Pranayama Breathing first set my shoulder emitted a loud crack and hell, felt much much better as my clavicle and shoulderblade snapped back into place. Ahhhh.

Tuesday : This started the pattern of shitty morning classes. Grr! And YAY! Jakob came here, so happy that a reminder from home is here This day marked the beginning of a sore throat and runny nose. Ugh. And a few people avoid me like I’m a leper. Oh hello, viruses spread like… a virus. So you’re going to get sick eventually, in the future!

Wednesday : Still shitty morning classes.

Thursday : Shitty morning class. Grrrr.

Friday : Emo and crying day. For some obscene and obscure reason I was crying the whole day. Must be all the emotional stuff I was getting rid of. Plus Jakob was leaving! After I delivered Toe and Tree Pose, cried my little heart out in front of Lynn and Jenna [they must've thought that I am such a weepy whiny freak].  Lynn was gracious enough to call for a break right after my crying drama. Oh well.

And that’s all the updates for now! I’m glad to say I haven’t had any major run-ins with Chicago Bull so I’m happy.

Some lovely quotes from the past 2 weeks :

“You can have empathy for your students, but you can’t have sympathy for them” – Mike from Dallas

“Oi, chicken chest. Yes, you. raisin boobs!” – Bikram

“YOU! Bushy-bushy hair! I HATE LAZY PEOPLE!” – Bikram

“Sweeeetheart. You weren’t going back far enough during backbend! *shakes head*” – Bikram [to me! Damn, I really am visible in a room of 300+]

“What the fuck you waiting for?” – Bikram

“YOU FUCK WITH ME I FUCK WITH YOU MOTHERFUCKER” – Bikram

“If you’re looking into someone’s eyes during savasana, you are very likely creeping them out” – Misha

“Mei, would you like to go for toe stand?” – Misha “No speak England!” – Mei

“Don’t scare your passengers” – Diane during poorna-salabhasana

M*